My blood is thinned from summer’s passion;
where I once could stand
the chill of winter’s disposition,
now I am unmanned
by this untimely season;
and the harvest I once sought
I find now sells for such a price
it won’t be quickly bought.
So I who once was drowning
in the glow of love, find drought;
and you, who I thought my soul’s twin,
decide to do without
what I believed was mother’s milk,
and manna from above:
my life as sow’s ear, turned to silk
with the touch of your love.
For years I sought you out, I thought
to win love, like a prize;
but found a bitter-sweet reward:
just laughter, in your eyes,
where I found nothing but regret
for all those wasted years
I spent in search of some ideal
to best both lust, and fear.
Such fantasies may feed and grow
but offer nothing real;
they hide what you already know
in shadows, and conceal
the simple truth as your time wanes
in frivolous pursuit,
and as you near the harvest
leave just rotted, bitter fruit.
So what is love? What do I know?
I thought myself immune,
but strangely find September
feels alive and much like June;
and you, who I imagined just
one half of my extreme,
have turned into the one I must
both have and hold, and dream.
for Pietro Speroni
27 SEP 2009