Tag Archives: advertising

Absolvo-Meal: an advertising jingle

Posted on April 10, 2014 by John

Your hair is gray and thinning, Jack! Your prime is gone and won’t come back. The cure for everything you lack? Absolvo-Meal, the perfect snack! Young whippersnappers run the show, and no one cares how much you know. When your … Continue reading →

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Dear Kleenex

Posted on December 21, 2006 by John

As of late, there’s been a commercial advertising your products that runs a little something like this … A man with a shaven head (not tonsured, but completely shaven), wearing maroon robes very similar in style to those worn by … Continue reading →

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Dear Coca-Cola

Posted on April 24, 2006 by John

Dear Coca-Cola: Please take a minute to review your situation. I realize that it must seem important to keep up with the Joneses (and I mean that figuratively; I don’t seriously believe the Jones Soda company is any significant threat … Continue reading →

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Incongruities in Advertising

Posted on January 10, 2006 by John

My pet peeve of the day: What does Alabama, or Lynryd Skynyrd for that matter, have to do with fried chicken? In particular, what does “Sweet Home Alabama” have to do with Kentucky Fried Chicken? Perhaps my geography is a … Continue reading →

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Hanging on Dreams

Posted on January 3, 2006 by John

I know you want me to say I love you in some tired cliche: forever in a bright pink bow with Hallmark lines I ought to know; and when I speak, some hidden strings should start to play. It should … Continue reading →

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Mixed Messages

Posted on December 23, 2004 by John

You’d better not pout, you’d better not cry You’d better be good — I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you’re sleeping He knows when you’re awake He knows if you’ve been bad … Continue reading →

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Wrongful Thinking Department 101

Posted on December 6, 2004 by John

Quote from a currently running commercial for Cox Digital Telephone: “If a million people are doing it, it must be a good thing, right?” So, if a million people are jumping off of cliffs, to use a metaphor from my … Continue reading →

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