Daily Archives: October 17, 2003

Testing the Fax Machine



Other than to pass electrons from one point to another in an attempt to verify the operational status of an electronic device, it serves no real purpose, conveys no meaningful information, represents no parties, suggests no agendas, intimates no conditions, passes no judgments, includes no warranties, reaches no agreements, cuts no deals, posts no bills, paints no portraits, does no windows and seals no fates.
Upon receipt (which in and of itself should prove beyond the pale the efficacy of the above referenced purpose – that being a test of the receiving capabilities of the receiving device), if such transmission results in the generation or production of printed material, the recipient may feel free to spindle, fold, staple, mutilate or otherwise crumble, lacerate, disintegrate, masticate, macerate, eviscerate or in any manner whatsoever denigrate the morphological properties of that resultant document, including but not limited to any number of degrees of alteration to the physical and defining properties of said document, up to and including complete destruction and/or annihilation.

If this transmission is received merely in electronic form and without accompanying printed version(s), the wise recipient could no no worse that simply to delete it.

If this transmission is not received, however, the above instructions and suggestions may be freely ignored or otherwise disregarded. Of course, having not received them, by virtue of not receiving this transmission from which said instructions originate, that task will be exceedingly easy to perform.



A letter to UPS :)

Dear Customer Service:

It seems to me that in this day and age of home offices and increases in online ordering that result in shipped goods, that the disparity between the delivery promise times for a business address and a residential address are incongruous with the reality of personal and business shipping.

When the cost of shipping is the same regardless of whether a package is shipped to a home or office, it seems unfair that the delivery time options differ. Unless the rates charged for delivery to a home are LESS than the rates for a business, the delivery times should be the same. There is no reason why a package for which equal shipping costs are paid should be delivered by noon in the case of a business and “by the end of the day” in the case of a residence.

In short, personal shippers are NOT getting what they pay for or request.

In my case, I use UPS for both business AND personal shipping from the same address. As a business customer, I expect and receive timely service. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for my experience as a home customer. This seems wrong to me; and it leads me to believe that I should have all packages, whether they are business-related or not, addressed to my business, to ensure that when I need a package delivered in the morning (or before noon or three) that it actually arrives in that timeframe – that I, whether a business or personal customer, have paid for.